I’m scared of my future
I have a wonderful little family. Beautiful and caring wife and two unbelievably amazing children. They are my world. Our kids are still young and need us.
To me, that need to protect, teach, love, assist, etc. overrides everything. I have no desire for career or excelling in hobbies. Sure, I have them. But that’s not my purpose for being alive.
Having children has given me purpose in life.
Those kids NEED me. And that’s what scares me. One day, faster than I’ll ever be ready for, they just simply won’t. They will be teenagers and then adults that can manage and handle themselves. They won’t ask me to help build a cool tower. They won’t ask me to jump on the trampoline. They won’t think I’m the superhero in their life anymore. And worst of all… they simply won’t be around as much.
So what the hell will I do when that day comes? What purpose will I have? It’s not that I’m afraid that I won’t find something to fill that void. I’m afraid that I’ll never want anything to fill that void because nothing possibly could. So do I just mosey along through life into old age and work until I retire (if I’m lucky) just being a shell of my former self while trying to find little hobbies that my deteriorating body can handle? Sounds great, right?
I’ll probably be ok. But at this stage in life… the world looks colorless in my vision of the future. That scares me.
Thanks for reading.