Big picture vagueness
I have a problem. The vision I have in my head of how plans should turn out, how projects should be completed, how a night out with the wife should go, etc. are too vague. I don’t have a clear cut idea of these things, yet have an “ideal” of what I want it to feel like.
This often leads to disappointment, frustration, anger, and sometimes full blown sadness on my part. Even when everything seems to have gone well. My comments usually end up being “it was ok,” “it could have been better,” “should have seen this coming,” or some similar negative remark.
It has soured otherwise perfectly fine experiences. I blame myself for not even knowing what I wanted something to be. My big picture vision of things is too blurry, like it needs corrective lenses. I see outlines and blobs of what I want.
Part of my hopes for change to see in myself this coming new year is to end this cycle. Start seeing things for how and what they are in the moment instead of comparing them to abstract feelings I hoped to have without putting in the effort of either knowing for certain what I wanted, or at least putting more effort into making things how I want. Whether that means more itinerary building or just more open communication with others to orchestrate things… I don’t know for sure. But I need to try.
I’m not even sure how to describe this problem accurately and just hope someone reading this might be able to relate in some way.
Here’s to clarity and vision correction of the mind next year. 🥃